Prioritizing Yourself: Breaking the Habit of Always Putting Others First

Honoring Mental Health Awareness Month

Establishing boundaries has always been a big thing for me. If you’re anything like me, saying “no” can feel like a betrayal—even when you’re running on empty. I used to give everything I had to others: my time, energy, even the parts of me that needed rest. As someone who works in service-based spaces, helping others feels natural—but going all the time is not sustainable.

The truth? Prioritizing yourself isn’t selfish. It’s necessary.

We often wear ourselves down trying to be everything for everyone and then wonder why we feel burnt out, lost, or resentful. I used to think self-care meant bubble baths and face masks, but it’s really about boundaries, rest, and honoring what you need. 

When you prioritize yourself, you show up better for everyone else and give yourself time to become the best version of you. 

Understanding the Habit of Putting Others First

From a young age, many of us—especially women and those in helping professions—are taught to be people-pleasers. Saying “no” often comes with guilt. I had to learn to unpack that guilt. It’s important to listen to the signs.

Signs you're putting others first too much:

• Exhaustion: You’re constantly tired or burned out.
• Neglecting your needs: You’ve stopped doing things that bring you joy (writing, reading, creating).
• Resentment: You feel frustrated with people who keep asking for your time.

The Truth About Self-Care

Self-care isn’t indulgence—it’s survival. It’s less about spa days and more about saying yes to yourself, resulting in:

• Improved mental and physical health
• Better relationships and emotional balance
• Increased energy and joy

Like the airplane rule: put on your oxygen mask first. You can’t pour from an empty cup.

How I Started Breaking the Habit

1. Self-Reflection

Ask yourself: Why do I always say yes? For me, it was tied to guilt and the need to be seen as “helpful.” Now, I recognize that being helpful doesn’t mean losing myself.

2. Setting Boundaries

“No” is a full sentence. Saying it doesn’t make you rude—it makes you real. I started small, declining tasks that drained me and preserved time for things that nourished me.

3. Reframing the Mindset

You are not a bad person for taking care of yourself. You are a better one because of it. I have to remind myself often: I am not required to set myself on fire to keep others warm. I need to remind myself of this on a daily basis.

4. Intentional Self-Care

Writing. Creating. Resting. These are my wellness practices. Make a list of what genuinely restores you—and commit to doing one of those things each week.

5. Seeking Support

Talk it out. Whether it’s with a friend, therapist, or trusted mentor—don’t carry the load alone! Accountability matters.

Daily Shifts To Try:

• Start small: Block 30 minutes daily for something you love.
• Create a “No List”: One thing a week you won’t do, just because it’s expected.
• Track your growth: Journal your wins—big or small.

And if that guilt creeps in remember change can be uncomfortable, especially when you're used to giving nonstop. The guilt will come. Let it. But don’t let it stay. Remind yourself: I am worth the time, energy, and care I give so freely to others.Some people won’t understand. That’s okay. The people who matter will respect the boundaries you’ve set. 

Final Thoughts

Breaking the habit of always putting others first is tough—but your peace is worth the discomfort. Say no when it costs you too much. Make space for what brings you back to yourself.

Start now. Choose you. Every time.

Create without boundaries. Live without limits.